Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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