How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
