Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
