Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
