GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize