Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
