Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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