just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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