I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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