walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
