69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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