Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize