i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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