You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
