If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
