i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
