i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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