You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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