Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
