ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

  Fav 27 1120 3116

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

  Fav 6 955 2781

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

  Fav 15 3964 954

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.

  Fav 19 1287 5064

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

  Fav 10 4459 1242

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

  Fav 19 6431 1320

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

  Fav 11 1460 3323

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

  Fav 2 882 538

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.

  Fav 13 701 1383

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup

  Fav 1 658 454

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.

  Fav 0 449 331

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (941): View more from Florida

  Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music

  Fav 0 144 17

  share tweet
  

• (863): View more from Florida

  After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.

  Fav 0 98 21

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left

  Fav 3 21 58

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck

  Fav 0 57 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize