Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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