3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
PANTIES FOUND
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