Can i not drive my cunt home
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
