Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
