batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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