im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
