well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
