Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
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Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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