i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
