I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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