Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize