Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
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