Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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