some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have aggressive nipples.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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