I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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