what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
