how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
