Just cropdusted the office
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
