You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Watching her eat just hurts me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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