I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
