There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
