I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
