hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize