i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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