And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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