is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
