dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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