So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
