Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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