meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
