Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Found your dick twin last night
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
