I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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