I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
