My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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