please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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