Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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