I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
