His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think my moral compass just broke
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
