take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
