My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
