Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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