fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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