Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
