Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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