My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
