I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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