Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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