She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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