Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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